My computer comes with certain default settings. I think we might come with default settings too.
I default to checking the food pantry when I get stuck writing. I default to watching Netflix at night after dinner. I default to the same walking route every week. Some of my defaults are good – like eating pesto and avocado for breakfast and meditating for a few moments every morning.
But the thing about most default setting is that they are mostly unconscious. Default settings are powerful behind the scenes programs that we rarely recognize. Eckhart Tolle says that our default settings are to launch an attack when we feel threatened. Or we run. That can sabotage relationships. David Foster Wallace says our default settings are thinking that we are the center of the universe. We naturally default to thinking that every car in the road and every person in the grocery store line is just in our way. That blocks our wonder for life and sense of connectedness. Less Brown says that our default setting is to live the life that we have “inherited” as opposed to inventing our own life, which undermines growth. Louise Hay says that our default setting is to think our automatic negative thoughts 1,000 times a day. Similarly Wayne Dyer says that our default settings are the same old stories we tell ourselves that keep us stuck. Navy seal David Goggins says that our default setting is our desire to stay in our comfort zone which sabotages our true potential.
All of the default settings described above have one thing in common. They are based in fear and generated by our egos. Fear’s a funny thing. It helps protect us from danger. It protects us from getting physically and emotionally hurt. But it can also close our hearts and keep us stuck.
What kind of fear based default settings are you on? Are you afraid of allowing your heart to manifest its great creative project? Are you afraid it won’t be good enough? Are you afraid you’ll feel too vulnerable or judged by others? Are you afraid of being truly honest in a relationship? Maybe you’ll be hurt or rejected. Are you afraid of truly being yourself? We couldn’t possibly be enough right?
My computer is making quantum leaps to higher “consciousness” every year. It’s hard to keep up. But the human heart is far more complex. It’s up to us to consciously navigate and choose “upgrades” that open our hearts and make us courageous and kind, bold and forgiving, creative and accepting. With love as our power source we are capable of anything.
Ilona says
Great insight, Linda! I am talking about this very topic in my classes this week. We must be on the same wavelength.
Dot says
You’re such a great writer! Yes to all of the fears above! Thank you for naming them! See them shrink!
wendy says
Enjoyed reading this. I guess it is time for an upgrade for me. Thanks.